Of Pregnancy and Pigs
by maripaz6
Summary: While walking in the woods, Anna and Kristoff stumble upon the Spirit World. ONESHOT


_Disclaimer: I do not own Spirited Away or Frozen._

… _._

"I'm hungry," Kristoff complained as Anna dragged him through the forest. "Let's go back to the castle. I want food. Maybe some nice, crunchy carrots….mmm...or maybe some juicy turnips …"

However, instead of turning around and heading back to the castle like Kristoff wanted, Anna punched her husband in the arm. "Stuff your cake hole," she retorted, ignoring his wistful mumbling of the word 'cake'. "I need some exercise. I've been cooped up in the castle for months now, ever since you got me pregnant. All of my ladies-in-waiting were aghast at the thought of me out and about in my 'condition', never mind that it's barely noticeable. We're walking as long as I say."

Kristoff sighed. "Fine. As always, my Queen, I live to serve."

"Not that again." Anna rolled her eyes. "I would have thought that got old after the first hundred times."

"Nope, it never does. And Sven agrees with me, doesn't he?" Kristoff began answering in the reindeer's deeper voice, forgetting that Sven hadn't been able to join them on this walk. At Anna's giggles, though, he glanced around, realized his reindeer was absent, and flushed a deep red.

Suddenly, Anna stopped laughing and stood, frozen, in the middle of the forest.

"What is it, Anna?" Kristoff ran up to his wife, grabbing her arm and peering at her. "Is the baby coming?"

"No, silly, that won't be for another seven months." Anna replied, not even bothering to look at her husband. She pointed before her. "Have you ever seen that statue there before? Or that wall?"

Kristoff tore his eyes off his wife. Ten feet before him sat a grinning statue, the looks of which he had never seen before. "Well, that's quite ugly," he joked, winking at Anna. "I think we need to figure out who made it and fire them. We can't pay for such horrendous artwork!"

Anna chuckled, then drew closer to the statue.

"Wait, Anna! What are you doing?" Kristoff cried out. "That thing's weird! It could be dangerous! We should stay away until we know it's safe. Maybe even send the Duke of Weselton to check it out first!"

However, Anna was drawn forward like a moth to a flame. "I just want to take a look," she replied. She ran her fingers over the statue as she passed and tapped faded red wall before her. "I want to see what's on the other side of this."

"No! This is creepy. We should go back, Anna," Kristoff insisted. "We're the King and Queen of Arendelle — we can't afford to let anything happen to us!"

"Elsa's still in her ice castle on the North Mountain. She could always ascend the throne again. Arendelle will be fine," Anna responded, still fascinated by the wall. "And anyways, as the King and Queen, we have a duty to investigate weird things like this."

Kristoff sighed. "Fine, I guess," he replied. "Since you're so set on going, I guess I should come as well to keep you safe." He grabbed her hand, holding tight it in his. "I suppose you're going to want to go through this tunnel here?"

Anna nodded. "The wall's too high to climb over, and I'm not risking a miscarriage. It's the only way."

The two of them walked hand in hand through the darkness. And just as Kristoff began to feel a touch claustrophobia, the passage deposited them in an old, abandoned church.

"This is gorgeous!" Anna cried as she spun about, surveying the inside of the building. "The stained glass is beautiful. I can't believe no one knew this was here!"

Kristoff, however, was not as enthused as his wife. "It's great. Can we go now?" he asked. "This place gives me the creeps. How did no one know this existed? You'd think it was in a map _somewhere_."

"Who cares?" Anna replied. "This is the first fun I've had in forever. Look! Another door!"

Kristoff let his wife drag him along, through the empty church and out the other door.

Outside the air was warmer, and a gentle breeze ruffled the tall grasses; clouds floated sedately across blue skies. It was a marked contrast to the snowy Arendelle forest, and Kristoff felt a sense of foreboding. There was magic at work here. He turned to inform his wife of that; however, Anna had already run down to the river and was busily crossing it, hopping from rock to rock.

When Kristoff caught up with her, she was already on the other side, beginning to climb the obsidian steps. She gushed, "Isn't this amazing, Kristoff? It's so warm here… it's just like summer! And I wonder what's on the other side of this river…"

"Anna! Wait! Aren't you the least bit worried about how drastic the weather change was?" Kristoff shouted at the retreating form of his wife. She didn't give any indication of having heard him though, and so he sighed, muttering to himself, "I'd better stay with her. She'll get in trouble if I don't."

Running after her — running was harder than he'd remembered, all that palace life had wasted away his hard-earned ice-cutter's muscles — Kristoff was given little time to marvel the strange characters adorning the buildings nor the empty, disconcerting silence in the deserted village. He just focused on climbing the steps, sprinting through the streets, and not collapsing into an undignified heap before he caught up with Anna.

When he finally found his wife, she was standing, mesmerized, before a buffet. "Look," she whispered, her eyes huge. "Look at all that food. It looks so _good_. I wonder if it smells as good as it looks..."

Kristoff took a deep breath, and was suddenly made painfully aware of his hunger. His stomach cramped as he moved forward, mouth watering, to load his plate and eat like there was no tomorrow — as a King, he was certain he could pay. However, he was stopped by a quiet retching sound coming from behind him.

It was Anna.

"Kristoff," she moaned, hands on her stomach. "Morning sickness…. The food smells too greasy — it makes me sick." She turned a light green. "Would you hold my hair back while I puke?"

Disappointed, and his stomach growling like bear's, Kristoff did so. He pulled back her hair, but his efforts were in vain: some escaped his grip, falling before her face, becoming coated in vomit.

"This will never do," Anna complained. "Why, the smell alone will make me throw up again. Kristoff, we're going to have to go down to the river so I can wash my hair

Kristoff nodded, not bothering to hide his disappointment. Stupid morning sickness. And he was so hungry, too….

Casting one last forlorn look at the food so tantalizingly arrayed, he followed his wife down to the river. There, she rinsed her long, red hair in the flowing water, rubbing it until every last bit of breakfast had disappeared. When her hair was clean and hung in a loose braid down her back, Kristoff said, "Could we go back and get food now?"

"Sure," Anna replied. "I feel better. Maybe this time the smell won't make me sick." The two of them set off hand in hand, following their noses.

However, as the couple was walking back into the village, a young girl's voice cried out, "Stop!" Running toward Kristoff and Anna were two children, a boy and a girl. "Don't eat anything!"

"Why not?" Anna asked.

The two skidded to a stop and the boy, who had an oddly serpentine look and stood protectively at the girl's side, answered harshly, "Because it will turn you into pigs."

"Right," Kristoff scoffed. "And my grandmother's a reindeer. Very funny, kid."

"I'm serious," the boy replied, his green eyes glinting. "I was just taking Sen to see her parents in the pigpen when I picked up on a peculiar scent — humans."

At the boy's statement, the girl's eyes flew open. "You're humans?" she exclaimed. Not giving Anna or Kristoff time to answer, she continued, "You need to get out of here now before you get turned into pigs, or something worse, by Yubaba. Go!" She grabbed Anna's arm and began dragging her back to the steps.

"And don't look back!" the boy added cryptically.

It was strange, Kristoff mused as he ran after Anna, that the girl seemed unable to make it to the river. After she passed the first few steps, she seemed to struggle against an invisible barrier, only stopping when the boy grabbed her arm, pulled her back, and said, "Stop, Sen. You're a part of the Spirit World now. You can't go any further."

For their part, Kristoff and Anna ran as if the wolves were chasing them again, adrenalin pumping through their systems. The girl's urgency had rubbed off on them, as had the boy's seriousness. Even without the two children to urge them away, Kristoff and Anna hurried across the river, through the church, and through the tunnel, never once looking back.

When they found themselves back in the snowy Arendelle forests, the two stopped sprinting and bent over, panting, feeling the stab of the icy air in their lungs.

"Well, that was certainly interesting," Anna quipped, once she'd regained her breath. "And it's so cold here! I can't believe that I didn't notice the beautiful weather there. I guess I just sorta took it for granted."

"Yeah," Kristoff replied. "I tried to tell you — to warn you about how weird it was — but you wouldn't listen. You were already running off into the distance…."

"Well, I'm sorry, gosh!" Anna retorted. "I just wanted to look around. It was so fascinating."

"Mmmhmm. The smell of that food was fascinating too. I just wish I'd gotten a chance to try some of that food…"

Anna rolled her eyes. "Honestly, didn't you listen to anything those children said? You couldn't eat it! It was cursed!"

"I know, I know," Kristoff replied. "I'd have been turned into a pig."

"Though," Anna insinuated, "I for one wouldn't have been able to tell the difference."

"Haha very funny." Kristoff crossed his arms and regarded his wife with exasperation. "Women alway say that men are pigs. If you're going to crack a joke, at least try to be original."

Anna, however, was still thinking about their close brush with death. "Just think, Kristoff," she said, leaning on him and resting her head on his shoulder. "If it hadn't been for my morning sickness, we'd be pigs right now, rooting around in that Yubaba lady's pigpens until she decided she fancied some pork."

"Yeah," Kristoff replied. "We were pretty lucky." He kissed her, then patted the small swell of her belly. "Without you, Junior, Sven would have been a very lonely reindeer."

Anna snorted. "I don't know where you got the name Junior, but we're not calling our baby that. That's a horrible name." Suddenly tired, Anna sighed, her eyes drooping, "We should be getting back to the castle."

"Yeah. I wonder if anyone would even believe our story." Kristoff paused, then continued, "Not that I care what anyone says."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Anna replied. "I think that, with a few choice words, the cook could break your heart."

"Could not!" Kristoff retorted.

"Could too."

"Could not."

The two monarchs walked back towards the castle, bickering all the way, only stopping when they heard a very familiar voice calling their names. Surprised, they nonetheless turned and saw Elsa come running out of the trees.

"Anna! Kristoff!" she exclaimed. "The entire kingdom has been looking all over for you!" At the monarchs' confused looks, Elsa elaborated. "The two of you have been missing for days. We've been searching all of Arendelle. Where were you?"

Anna and Kristoff looked at each other, then turned behind them to point at the red wall. But to their surprise, they found that it had vanished. All that remained was the ugly statue with its obnoxious grin.

Their explanations died in their throats, until Kristoff recovered. "You're going to find this hard to believe," he told his sister-in-law, "but there was actually a wall there, and behind that another world. Let me tell you about it…. But first, let's go back to the castle. It's a long story, and I need some food."

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 _Hope y'all liked that! This was a fun distraction from Elsa's Story :) And it was even in the same archive! (Which, by the way, needs more love XD)_


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